More and more families are now made up of step children, step parents and step brothers and sisters.

42% of marriages are expected to end in divorce which means many people will divorce and form other relationships with people who may be parents themselves. Cohabitation is common which is why there is now a difference to the dynamics of family households. It is common for my clients to have formed a new relationship with someone who themselves has children. The couple are then faced with living with their own children and their partner’s children which can cause considerable difficulties. There is no magic solution however I have outlined some issues that a parent/step parent should consider when looking at cohabiting with their partner.

Communication

Talk to your children and step children to address any concerns about the merging of 2 households early on. When having the conversations remember to have the children’s issues as central to the discussions rather than as a side issue. If possible discuss your thoughts with your ex partner as if they can be supportive this will help the children immensely. Sadly this is not always possible. There is always the option of family mediation or counselling for the children and the family.

Discussions about how you are going to care for the children on a day to day basis need to be had. Issues such as who collects who from where etc need to be discussed in detail as if not problems could occur. You and your partner need to be fully aware of each other’s expectations and see how they can be met. Issues such as summer holiday contact with the absent parent etc also need to be considered early . The absent parent maybe a step parent themselves which can make matters even more complicated.

Finances

Discussions need to be had about financial matters.  Unpleasant issues such as what you would want to happen upon your death to your assets need to be discussed. What would happen to you assets upon separation also needs to be discussed. People think there is a thing called common law husband and wife. This is not true. You do not gain rights the longer you live with them unless you marry. You must be aware though that if you own a property and your partner moves into your property they could try and claim an interest in the property unless you specifically state otherwise. You may want to enter into a cohabitation agreement to regulate this.  A new will is also advisable.

If a new property is purchased together there are different ways you can own this to protect your interest for your children. I highly recommend legal advice is obtained upon this issue.

Parental Responsibility

Discussions need to be had regarding who your children will live with if you die. It does not follow that because your partner is living with the children they should stay living with him/her. Parental responsibility is a legal term, which means all the duties, rights and responsibilities you have as a parent. Step parents do not have this unless they have specifically applied to the court or the other biological parent has formally agreed through the courts to the step parent being given PR. If the biological parent has PR and is still alive, even if they have not seen the child, they could assert their parental responsibility.

The above is just an outline of some issues. It is worth obtaining legal advice before moving in with your partner to ensure you and your family are protected.

If I can be of any assistance please do not hesitate to contact me on either info@jtfamilylaw.co.uk  or on 07443 524453